Conflict and Power
Ella and Aria
When a conflict arises, there is usually more to the situation than just the discussion. If you look more in depth at what occurs, one can see verbal and nonverbal power ploys. A verbal power ploy that may occur frequently is manipulation. According to Guerrero, "Manipulation is a set of strategies that involves getting one's way through attempts to make the partner feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous" (27). While manipulation is occurring, one characteristic to look for are the nonverbal power play of voice. If someone is trying to call someone out, their tone of voice and they way they present themselves can really make a difference. The text refers to how close relationship vocal tones can change and how, "when people who are normally soft spoken raise their voices, even slightly, dominance is communicated" (28). Combining these these two aspects can lead to a result that you do not want to get yourself into, which is just what happened to Aria and her mother.
Aria's mother, Ella, has been influenced by Aria to move to Austria to live with her current boyfriend, Zack. She gets a surprise from her mom one day. Ella knew that Aria was going through a rough time so she came back to surprise her. During their conversation that they were having, Zack calls Ella. Ella ignores the calls but Aria insists that she call him back. Once the phone call concludes, Aria snaps at her mom. In the clip, you will see Aria stand and start to tell her mom everything she has done wrong recently. As you listen to the tone of Aria's voice, you can start to hear it rise as her anger level rises as well. Aria is usually a calm person, and as I quoted from the book earlier, if someone is very low key and they start to raise their voice, you can tell that they are starting to show the dominant role in themselves. Overall, the combination of Aria's tone of voice and word choice is what eventually makes her mother feel overly guilty and emotional.
When a conflict arises, there is usually more to the situation than just the discussion. If you look more in depth at what occurs, one can see verbal and nonverbal power ploys. A verbal power ploy that may occur frequently is manipulation. According to Guerrero, "Manipulation is a set of strategies that involves getting one's way through attempts to make the partner feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous" (27). While manipulation is occurring, one characteristic to look for are the nonverbal power play of voice. If someone is trying to call someone out, their tone of voice and they way they present themselves can really make a difference. The text refers to how close relationship vocal tones can change and how, "when people who are normally soft spoken raise their voices, even slightly, dominance is communicated" (28). Combining these these two aspects can lead to a result that you do not want to get yourself into, which is just what happened to Aria and her mother.
Aria's mother, Ella, has been influenced by Aria to move to Austria to live with her current boyfriend, Zack. She gets a surprise from her mom one day. Ella knew that Aria was going through a rough time so she came back to surprise her. During their conversation that they were having, Zack calls Ella. Ella ignores the calls but Aria insists that she call him back. Once the phone call concludes, Aria snaps at her mom. In the clip, you will see Aria stand and start to tell her mom everything she has done wrong recently. As you listen to the tone of Aria's voice, you can start to hear it rise as her anger level rises as well. Aria is usually a calm person, and as I quoted from the book earlier, if someone is very low key and they start to raise their voice, you can tell that they are starting to show the dominant role in themselves. Overall, the combination of Aria's tone of voice and word choice is what eventually makes her mother feel overly guilty and emotional.
Citations for footnotes 27 and 28 can be found on the citation page under the topic Long Lasting Relationships.